The cotton panties problem.



Hello from the overwhelming underwear choices at Target. Picture courtesy of my four year old son, Sam. Thanks Son.

Okay, so if you are in that phase of your life where at any second you could meet the man of your dreams and have an unexpected nude scene in the middle of the day, then this post is not for you. For everyone else, I present to you "the cotton panties problem" where if you're planning on buying a pair of everyday panties that nobody will ever actually see, you have to guess what the panties really look like inside the package and then blindly buy seven pairs all at once only to get home, find they make you look like you're dividing up your butt in to packs of four and then lie to yourself about how you'll take them back when really you're too embarrassed to take back an open packet of the worst underwear you've ever seen.

So I tried out six kinds of "bikini" style panties from Fruit of the Loom and Hanes. If you ever lose your luggage, you're going to end up buying a stash from one of these two companies so pay attention.


Worst packaging. It's like they're trying to shame you in to keeping these cloth diapers no matter how badly you want to return them. And they're huge. No joke, They went up to my belly button and I could still have used the left over fabric on the butt to carry a small child.

Okay so you have a bit of a butt AND you've lost your luggage AND you're kind of broke. Boy do I have the perfect panties for you. Seriously, these are a good fit and the colors were not as depressing as the other panties I tried.

These work well under clothes although they are more high cut than bikini. I say switch off the lights and put em on girl!

NO! Buying this sort of underwear will make you feel very very depressed. They are too small, no matter what size you get, they are too small, trust me.

These are what constitutes as a win in cotton pantie world since looks don't count.