Cowboy Boots for high arches

If, like me, you were born with a few unwelcome genes from one of your parents and one of them happens to be your fathers high arches; your hunt for cowboy boots is going to be about as disappointing as hearing Victoria Beckham speak for the first time. I can tell you right now that cowboy boots are high arch haters. If by some miracle of shoe horn you manage to get your foot past the curve of the boot, you're going to get stuck there because your feet are going to swell so much that all that foreplay energy you've been saving up is going to get spent trying to get those suckers off. I was told by a professional shoe salesman that I would never walk again....in real cowboy boots and that my only option was to buy these boots:

They are Justin Gypsy boots, they are very comfortable, run for under a $100 and when I tried them on, I almost cried. I have never felt less American than I did in these boots. I mean, where is the rest of this shoe? I get it, the corner has to be wider but why does the part that goes up your leg to make you look cool when you're wearing a dress have to be so short? If you have a pair of these shoes and you wore them when the country was going through the dress and cowgirl boots phase and you lived, then more power to you. Me, I wanted something more.

So I bought a pair of shoes from a (UK!) company called Frye Boots. My cowgirl friend told me that I looked ridiculous since no real cowgirl would wear those boots but my God I felt like I'd been given a second chance and I wasn't about to let it go. I think I look cute in them, so long as I am standing still that is since the only size that was on sale was a size bigger than I usually wear and so I have to wear thick winter socks in order to keep the boot from staying put while I walk on. And it's a heavy boot so no, it's not winning any comfort prizes and I look a little "weighed down" when I walk. But I bought them for under $100 which is crazy cheap in cowgirl boot speak and I can get my foot both in and out of them. Win!

Lastly, this is completely untested but here's another option worth checking out. It's a gumboot/galosh/cowgirl boot. I saw a woman in a restaurant wearing them so I looked them up. They are selling on Amazon for $35 right now so I'll probably wait until the entire world has bought them, driven the price up to $140 and then given them up for last years news before I buy a pair.
They are from a company called Nature breeze. Let me know if they are comfortable.

Mister Ugh

The creative genius behind this blog would like to apologise for the delay in reading material but would like to offer this explanation in response:

I ran a Half Marathon......yipee!......which made me feel like this.....

but before you can say "re-hydration" I rewarded my efforts with an eat-athon. So now I feel like this.....

Ones enthusiasm for clothes decreases with every single bite of lemon raspberry coffee cake, I can tell you that for certain, which is why I am typing this in my moo-moo.

Anyway, after a brief pause, a few bottles of TUMS and a little talking to myself, I'll be back.

Hairs to good here days

I have had a lot of bad hair in my life. Purple, permed, shaved, gray, yellow etc, etc. It took me thirty years to realize that people with good hair were not just born that way and that coloring my hair was not going to hide the extra weight I was carrying around. So I found a woman on youtube called "The Hip Chick Online" and she saved the day. Well, her and a colorist called Maxine at Toni and Guy who just ignores me when I talk. Anyway, since I don't have time to go shopping today, here is a quick before and after picture and a link to this magic woman who will finally show you how to use a curling iron. Honestly, if you have hair that is almost shoulder length or longer, you'll need a curling iron and chances are if you get a curling iron, you're going to need to watch this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O85aM7-BZqM

Is that how I share a link? Did that work? I feel like a monkey sitting here fumbling my way through this stuff.




BEFORE: It's big, fuzzy hair. If there are any make-up experts out there, please call me.

AFTER: This is my pose and click face. But the hair looks better don't you think? I like to flip it from side to side and act like I am naturally this perfect.  

The cotton panties problem.



Hello from the overwhelming underwear choices at Target. Picture courtesy of my four year old son, Sam. Thanks Son.

Okay, so if you are in that phase of your life where at any second you could meet the man of your dreams and have an unexpected nude scene in the middle of the day, then this post is not for you. For everyone else, I present to you "the cotton panties problem" where if you're planning on buying a pair of everyday panties that nobody will ever actually see, you have to guess what the panties really look like inside the package and then blindly buy seven pairs all at once only to get home, find they make you look like you're dividing up your butt in to packs of four and then lie to yourself about how you'll take them back when really you're too embarrassed to take back an open packet of the worst underwear you've ever seen.

So I tried out six kinds of "bikini" style panties from Fruit of the Loom and Hanes. If you ever lose your luggage, you're going to end up buying a stash from one of these two companies so pay attention.


Worst packaging. It's like they're trying to shame you in to keeping these cloth diapers no matter how badly you want to return them. And they're huge. No joke, They went up to my belly button and I could still have used the left over fabric on the butt to carry a small child.

Okay so you have a bit of a butt AND you've lost your luggage AND you're kind of broke. Boy do I have the perfect panties for you. Seriously, these are a good fit and the colors were not as depressing as the other panties I tried.

These work well under clothes although they are more high cut than bikini. I say switch off the lights and put em on girl!

NO! Buying this sort of underwear will make you feel very very depressed. They are too small, no matter what size you get, they are too small, trust me.

These are what constitutes as a win in cotton pantie world since looks don't count.

Just one pair of shoes.

If, like me, you get one new pair of shoes this summer when really you need four different pairs of shoes, then you're going to need a pair of shoes that can do everything. They must not cost a fortune (duh!), they must endure long walks from the very last parking space on the parking lot which is where my dearly beloved insists on parking, they must make those slightly thicker winter legs look long and slender and they must be comfortable enough to wear while doing glamerous things like mopping up cat pee, physically breaking up a fist fight between brothers and bolting down the street to catch the run away dog. I hereby introduce to you....dum dada dum.....the shoes.

Okay, so I'm not sold on the bow, in fact I might just cut that sucker off, but I am sold on the price. These are $20 shoes from Nordstroms Rack. Are they gold? Are they silver? They're sort of both. They're metalic which means that they go with everything. Not too much heal that you get shin splints on your walk to work, not too little that your hems drag on the ground, not too much clunk that you look like a spaceman, not too dainty that you look like you're trying too hard either. They don't look like much but I will be wearing these all summer long. Oh and if you see them on-line, buy a half size bigger since they run a little small. And by small, I mean narrow.